Okay, this may be a day late but it's still worth sharing. We had a house in Southdale in the 90's. It was about 1400 square feet with an undeveloped basement. My oldest son loved hockey so we had a full size hockey net, baseball glove, a couple of orange floor hockey balls mask, goalie stick & a couple of regulation hockey sticks downstairs. Both my sons & I would goof around taking shots. This would have been 94-95. I was 39, My oldest was 9 & my youngest 5.
One time, my oldest made a bunch of flukey saves on me when we were playing. I should have scored but he made at least 3 pretty nice saves one after another after another. Well, the competitive juices were flowing inside him showing up his father & he was getting cocky. He said, "C'mon Dad. Is that all you got??" And with every save he'd trash talk even more for a little kid. Then he says, "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, OLD MAN???" He called me an Old Man & I wasn't even 40 yet??? I thought, "Okay Hotshot, I'll show you!!"
So I laid into the stick as hard as I could with a slapshot & I nailed my son in the groin. It's an orange floor hockey ball that could sting & I whipped it pretty good. I didn't mean to hit him. I wanted to blow a few by him just to show him his Old Man ain't so old after all. So, my son's on the floor gasping in pain & turning different shades of colour on his face. I'm panicking worried he's hurt but not wanting him to cry or I'll get in supreme **** from my wife for being stupid. I'm telling him to take a deep breath & relax. Don't cry. Inside my head, I'm thinking, "If he cries I'm so dead!!"
Things calmed down after a few minutes & I said to both boys as my youngest watched the whole thing take place. "Don't tell Mom. This is just between us. DON'T TELL MOM!!' My oldest who had almost recovered said okay as he knew it wasn't intentional he wouldn't tell his Mom. My five year old said, "I won't tell either Dad". I thought, "Phew, I dodged a bullet!"
Suddenly my 5 year old goes running up the stairs into the kitchen yelling, "MOMMMM!! Dad hit .... in the nuts playing hockey & he hurt him!!" I hear the thumping of my wife's feet upstairs as she rushed to the basement, flew down the stairs & yelled, "What happened??" I told her that I hit our son accidentally in the nuts with a slapshot but he's fine. She asked me how I could have done that. I told the truth & said he called me an Old Man so I had to put him in his place. Was that ever the wrong answer!!
If there was a prize for stupid husband answers of maybe all time that would have been a sure winner. She just looked at me angrily & said, "So, you're the adult here & upset that your 9 year old son called you old & you shot that ball so hard you hurt him??" I sheepishly said yes. & that my bruised ego got the best of me. At that point my son saved my bacon when he told his Mom that he was okay. I think he saw his Dad was sinking fast & took pity on me. She just looked at both of us & as she went back upstairs she said, "Boys. We should have had 2 girls."
When I coached football & both my sons were playing on different teams, we'd come home from our practices absolutely wired & we'd be so loud yelling, wrestling one another & banging around for about an hour after. Sometimes the brothers would start fighting & we'd have to calm them down. Sometimes I needed to be calmed down & not the kids. My wife still talks about that 20 years later. How crazy our house was when it came to sports. The three of us just laugh remembering what we were like. Miss those days.
Hope everyone had a Happy Fathers Day.