I'm saying no one should hit anyone.
If you think that it's ok for you to hit another man then that's terrible, I'm not sure how bouncers (if bouncers) are trained but it's not like police are trained to throw a right hook followed by a left uppercut. A bouncer *should* be trying to sub-due the problem regardless of sex and in the safest manner possible. Throwing punches is not the right technique to do.
It's very hypocritical for you to say that you can punch a defenseless 100 lbs scrawny man but it's off limits if a large out of control lady doing the same thing as the scrawny man.
Nobody should be hitting nobody and that is the only correct answer.