pizmo

Saskatchewan Retiree's

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Naples, Florida .
They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.'
They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me pour one for you!
What'll it be, Gentlemen?'
There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis...
Shaken, not stirred, and says, 'That'll be 10 cents each, please'
The four men stare at the bartender for a moment.
Then look at each other...
They can't believe their good luck.
They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, 'That's 40 cents, please.'
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They have each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar.
Finally one of the men says, 'How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime a piece?'
'I'm a retired tailor from Boston ,' the bartender said, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime - wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same.'
Wow!!!! That's quite a story,' says one of the men.
The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice seven other people at the end of the bar who didn't have drinks in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, 'What's with them?'

The bartender says, 'Oh, they're all old retired farts from Saskatchewan . They're waiting for happy hour when drinks are half price.'

An old guy arrives at the Pearly Gates and immediately he sees two signs.
The first sign reads, MEN WHO WERE CONTROLLED BY THEIR WIVES.  The old man looks and sees that this line is, like, ten miles long.
So the old man looks at the second sign.  It read, MEN WHO WERE NOT CONTROLLED BY THEIR WIVES.  Lo and behold, there's only one guy in this line.  Slowly, the old man walks over to him.  'Tell me,' he says, 'why are you standing over here?  The guy looks at him and says, 'I don't know, my wife told me to'.

An old guy arrives at the Pearly Gates and immediately he sees two signs.
The first sign reads, MEN WHO WERE CONTROLLED BY THEIR WIVES.  The old man looks and sees that this line is, like, ten miles long.
So the old man looks at the second sign.  It read, MEN WHO WERE NOT CONTROLLED BY THEIR WIVES.  Lo and behold, there's only one guy in this line.  Slowly, the old man walks over to him.  'Tell me,' he says, 'why are you standing over here?  The guy looks at him and says, 'I don't know, my wife told me to'.

I want a new running back that can pass catch and averages 8.5 yards a carry.
I want two new international receivers, one a clone of Jerry Rice and the other a clone of Randy Moss.
I want a new national tackle that is a clone of Walby.
I want a clone of Doug Brown for DT.
I want TSN to pull Rod Black from CFL telecasts.